So I had no clue what I was going to write today. In fact, I received a tiny bit of bad news yesterday and was doing my whole overly melodramatic “I suck! I suck so badly the vacuum cleaner is laughing at me.” thing that I tend to do every once in a while. (I don’t do it too often because…well who wants to listen to a whiney, insecure person who’s jealous of a vacuum?! ) Well, anyway, I was doing my rant and felt I should probably just give up on writing anything that made sense and went to read.
BIG MISTAKE!! NEVER and I repeat NEVER let your friends read when they’re feeling sorry for themselves! (It’s like the writer’s equivalent of drinking and driving. Well, okay, it’s not THAT bad, but…you’ll see what I mean. It’s a TRAIN WRECK waiting to happen.) Then you get this:
“Oh, GOD! Look at this. This writer is the most awesome of awesome writers everywhere. Look how she says this in like ONE SENTENCE! I could NEVER write that in ONE SENTENCE. It would take me like a hundred fajillion sentences for me to pull that off. And look! No ADVERBS. She’s like the GODDESS of writers, because I can see this perfectly without adverbs. I suck I would need at least 10 adverbs lined up one after the other to make that work. There’s not a single typo. Look at my ROUGH DRAFT it freakin’ SUCKS. I have SOO many typos. And my beta said this doesn’t make sense. But this totally cool writer has everything that makes sense. “
I’m sure you’ve seen the flaw in my logic. If you haven’t then you must be where I was yesterday. I was comparing a ROUGH DRAFT to a FINISHED book that has had more people going over it to make sure it’s perfect, than a movie star at her plastic surgeon’s office.
So, I tossed down the totally, freakin’ cool book that made me feel like the bubble gum I had stuck to my shoe the other day, and decided to get some archery practice in.
ANOTHER big mistake. I lost a tip. Hit the already swollen and bruised arm at least a hundred times (I only shot 6 arrows—see I can count), I missed the bulls-eye EVERY TIME, the list just goes on and on and on.
Of course, this was just another reminder of my suckitude. I was certain that instead of Midas’ touch, I had what my husband has dubbed “Jessie’s touch.” Where everything I touch will break or not go as planned.
I spent the rest of the day sulking. I refused to do ANYTHING. I just KNEW that if I did something the whole house would spontaneously implode, killing absolutely everything around me, EXCEPT me who would be standing in the middle of the rubble, completely unscathed, holding a part of the thing that exploded.
Yep. Wasn’t I a piece of work?!
I ended the day with going to bed early.
This morning I woke and the birds were singing, the sun was shining. My WIP was calling to me, and so was this blog post. And I knew that, today, my vacuum cleaner was going to be jealous of ME.
Happy Wednesday, peeps!